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Friday, 10 June 2011

  • Role Model

    I'm proud to be a role model for my little sister, and I strive to be a good one. But....I'm only human.

    I'm tired of being put on a pedestal, and I'm tired of everyone making the same tired assumptions about me. I'm tired of people being "shocked" because I break their assumptions about me, assumptions which were never true at all in the first place! I'm not trying to create this image for myself, it just happens on its own and I don't know how to shake it.

    Why should I have to hide? I matter.

Thursday, 06 January 2011

  • Si tu veux un ami...apprivoise-moi...

    Once I have tamed someone, I always have a room in my heart, a room with velvet curtains and a fireplace, a room with red lace-trimmed lampshades and a Persian rug, a room with a plate of cookies that I baked and a soft blanket that I crocheted, ready for them should they ever choose to return, a guest room in my heart for the wandering, wayward friend who left my life, should he or she decide to come visit me again.

    As the Little Prince told us, if you tame someone you become responsible for them. It is up to us to find out what this means in our lives. We must look with our hearts, rather than our eyes. We must never allow bitterness or jealousy or old hurts to cloud our heartvision. We must fluff the down pillows in the guest rooms of our hearts.

Sunday, 26 December 2010

  • ...And to all a good riddance!

    Now, I've always been a bit ambivalent about Christmas. This may surprise some of you who know me well, but I definitely have a Grinch side. I hate and love Christmas simultaneously in the weirdest ways.

    For example, gift-giving. I hate it and I love it. I love the look on the face of someone who just got a really awesome gift and loved it. I love the feeling I get when someone gets me exactly what I wanted. I crocheted my sister a Jayne Cobb hat and she totally freaked. It was great. I take infinite care over gifts; I do a lot of mental hand-wringing. What if she doesn't like it? What if the color is wrong? What if she already has one? What if so-and-so gets jealous and wants one too? I get a lot of anxiety when I give a gift because I've gotten a lot of disappointing gifts in my life, and of course it's the thought that counts and I appreciate every one of them, but still....if I give a gift, I want so badly for it to not be one of those things that collects dust in some corner somewhere. I love the feeling of wrapping and giving gifts, but the whole time I'm worried about whether the gift will hit the spot or not. And at the same time...we shouldn't need gifts at all to have Christmas. I hate how commercialized Christmas is. I hate how it revolves around presents. I hate how there are all these kids who think it's all about the presents because they've never been taught any better.

    I have the same kind of anxiety about cooking. If I cook something, I want it to be just perfect, and if it isn't, I get embarrassed and worried about what people will think and will they come away from the dinner unsatisfied? Disappointed? Disgusted? Unhappy? Will they think I'm a bad cook? What if we run out? What if it burns? What if I over-salted it? I made baked beans and they weren't as soft as I wanted and the liquid wasn't as thick as I wanted, the consistency was all off and I just hid in my room and cried, even though they weren't terrible, they were o.k., but not great, although Dad claims they were good. I think he was just saying that to cheer me up.

    And going back to the commercialism of it all, I hate how you can't get away from Christmas if you want to. I hate how Christmas lasts from November through January. I hate all of the Christmas music blaring everywhere you go, especially at the stores. I hate the commercials, and all of the various other kinds of advertising, and the coupons and the sales and the traffic. I hate how much it has seeped into secular culture. You can't go anywhere without tripping over a tree or getting tangled in some kind of garland...Yet at the same time I love the Christmas tree. I love Christmas music. I just don't like how ubiquitous they are. You can't escape them. I hate all the pressure and all of the counting down and all of the last-minute insanity of the shopping.

    I hate all of the fakeness that gets into it. I only love the parts of it that are genuine. I think that's what's really going on here. I love our own little family traditions: the breaking of oplatka, the coming of Santa (a male relative wearing the same old suit we've had since I was a kid), the trip to Richardson's to cut our own fresh tree and the hot chocolate and the pecan turtles, the train set that Grandpa got us when we were little, seeing all of my tiny little cousins running around, watching "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and baking kolacke (Polish thumbprint cookies). Those are the things I like about Christmas. What I don't like about Christmas is all the pressure and anxiety I get. I haven't slept more than about 3 hours out of the last 48. (And it's almost 4:00 a.m. now!) I don't like all the work, work, work that goes into it. By the time Christmas actually comes, I'm so tired and stressed out that I'm ready to crack, and this year, I did, by golly, and last year I did, too. I hate the feeling of being overworked and underappreciated. I did almost all of the holiday shopping, and I cleaned and I cooked a lavish dinner for 16 and I washed dishes and I decorated and I cut fresh holly and lit candles and hung ornaments and wrapped presents and made plans and made lists and bought groceries and ran errands and I'm just pooped. And I'm not saying I did all of this all by myself. Sarah came with me on some of the shopping trips. And she helped me a lot in the kitchen, too. And Dad made the pork roast and the gnocchi and the cake. And Mom helped with the dishes some. And we all kind of trimmed the tree together. Sarah and Dad wrapped a few of the presents. But...I still did the lion's share of  the work, and I am just drained from it all, and for what? Dinner was late, I didn't even get to sit down until everyone else was almost done eating, I was on my feet all day and they hurt, a couple of the biscuits burned, and still I have to wash wine glasses and baking pans tomorrow. *sigh*

Sunday, 28 November 2010

  • Home for the Hellidays

    It's two in the morning, and I'm crying over the boy who really isn't worth my tears.

    I think I loved him a lot more than he loved me. I gave so much of myself to him, to the relationship, I was so ready to compromise and work on things...

    My life is such a mess. I have an 8-10 page term paper due...I'm supposed to submit a draft for peer-editing on Tuesday and I only have about 4.5 pages, and my thesis is total shit.

    My grandma still thinks my vegetarianism is a "diet" and keeps asking me how come I haven't lost any weight yet. It's like it's all Mom and Grandma can ever talk about, both behind my back and to my face. I try to ignore it, not let it bother me, etc. but it does! It does, o.k.? It cuts me right to the quick. And Mom will say something accusing about how bread, rice, and noodles are making me fat. First of all, there is absolutely nothing wrong with carbs. And second of all, I buy flourless sprouted whole grain bread, brown rice, and whole wheat pasta. The only time I eat white rice is if I go to a Chinese restaurant (and then only steamed, never fried) and I can't even remember the last time I had pasta! (Oh wait...yes I can....I once made macaroni and cheese with Chad. Shit. Stop reminding me!)

    On Thanksgiving, I spent alllll day cooking and cooking to make dinner for 12. It was exhausting. Finally, I was done and I went to my room to get dressed. Ready to collapse, having no idea what to wear, hair dissheveled and frizzy, I finally pulled on a pair of jeans and a black turtleneck and had my sister braid my hair.
    Mom: Can't you wear something *else*? Something more interesting?
    Me: No.
    Mom: And why don't you let your hair down?
    Me: Because it looks awful. I used Sarah's shampoo...
    Grandma: Why aren't you wearing any make-up? You want your cousins from New York to see your pimples?
    Me: I'm wearing mascara....
    Grandma: It is shameful that you're so fat when your cousin is thin like a ballerina!
    It was at that point that I snapped. I screamed at everybody until they left my room and refused to change anything about the way I was dressed.

    I wanted nothing more than to hide somewhere and have a good cry but five minutes later, our guests arrived. I had to pretend to be happy and confident. I had to reheat food and serve it and jump up and down, running to and from the kitchen all evening long. I got some help with the dishes, at least. I feel overworked and taken advantage of. Mom just lets me do all the work because I "like cooking." Well, I occasionally enjoy cooking, but cooking a lavish meal for 12 people is exhausting and not enjoyable whatsoever, and instead of running around panicking, complaining, shopping for unnecessary things (I *know* we need a new toaster, but we don't need it *today*!), and picking fights with our relatives, you could get in the kitchen and help me a little! Grandma helped me a lot, and even Sarah helped a little, but Mom didn't help at all. The ego boost I got from all the compliments everyone gave me on the food made me feel a little better. My aunt was so impressed that I made a yeast bread from scratch. Heck, it isn't magic. That was actually the only part I enjoyed--the kneading.

    Oh, and did I mention we're hosting Christmas this year, too? Greeeeaaaaaaaat. Let's do the whole thing again! No. I'm not putting up with this again. Mom is helping me, or else we are buying things from the store and not doing everything from scratch. And moreover, we are asking the guests to bring dishes! I am *not* doing all the work this time!

    I have never been so glad to go back to school. Yet, at the same time I have never dreaded school so much. (I dread the papers, the projects, the exams....but the time with my friends and away from my family is appealing right now.)

    Oh, yeah, and I turned 21. Whatever. Alcohol is dumb, anyway.

Saturday, 20 November 2010

  • --Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
    I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
    the art of losing's not too hard to master
    though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

    --Elizabeth Bishop

    We read that poem together the day we broke up.
    It sums it up, doesn't it? We all lose
    things in our lives. We lose people. We lose
    places. We lose objects. We lose feelings.
    Can I learn to lose things more efficiently?
    More smoothly? How long will it take me to
    get over this one? A month? A year? Nah, not a year.

    So here I am, alone again. On Desolation Row. Nursing
    my herbal tea like it was beer
    and wearing my baggy sweats, loafing
    around the house trying to grade papers and pretend
    like it's all o.k.

    Damn him and his unreasonable expectations! One day,
    I will find someone who actually
    appreciates me...

    Still lookin' for that Sunday kind of love...

jedi_girl3

  • Visit jedi_girl3's Xanga Site
    • Name: Michelle
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 7/25/2004

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About Me

  • I'm Michelle and I'm a college student. I'm interested in writing and poetry and music and books. So come to my xanga site and read my enlightening musings. (Yeah, right.) This is really a personal blog to keep in touch with friends, and a kind of catharsis for myself, but anyone is welcome to come browse. Occasionally I say something profound. ;)

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